Finding a Therapist: Flexible, “Yes”, Compromise, “No”!

Choosing a therapist based upon insurance coverage or geographical location is akin to choosing a lifetime soulmate based upon physical attraction or wealth. Of course, the recommendation of a friend or colleague might increase the likelihood of a good match, but in more cases than we would wish, those choices are essentially founded on speculation,… Continue reading Finding a Therapist: Flexible, “Yes”, Compromise, “No”!

Intelligence: A New Dimension?

Like a box of chocolates, variations of intelligence come in all shapes and sizes. The usual suspects include cognitive measures (IQ), social intelligence (SQ), and emotional intelligence (EI). The manner in which these and other intelligences interface between two intimate partners will determine, at least in part, their fate as a couple. The bad news… Continue reading Intelligence: A New Dimension?

The Unconscious Resistance to “The Unconscious”

Over 100 years ago, Freud stood before the Vienna Congress of Physicians and espoused the significance of the unconscious part of the mind.  His message that “We are a cognitive iceberg and most of our thoughts occur below the waterline,” was met with derision and outrage.  The good news is that since that time “unconscious”… Continue reading The Unconscious Resistance to “The Unconscious”

Me-think, ​Couple Think, ​and Groupthink: the Bad, the Good and the Absurd.

Couples typically begin counseling with a barrage of ego-involved exchanges, punctuated by the infamous win-lose, blame mentality.  Both individuals immersed in me-think are convinced that they are right about the issues at hand–game on!  The bad news is that this relentless war-of-words can derail therapeutic progress at any time.  Moreover, when blatant narcissism is on display… Continue reading Me-think, ​Couple Think, ​and Groupthink: the Bad, the Good and the Absurd.